I met a man today who, within 10 seconds of speaking to him, amazed me and broke my heart.  I'm not sure if the term mentally retarded is still politically correct so I apologize if it's not.  He reminded me of the huge lovable guy from the Green Mile both in appearance and soul- the only difference was the severity of his disability was much worse.  When he spoke to me I was immediately blown away by how sweet this guy was.  I instantly started to cry but was able to stop myself before the tears came.  I'm ashamed to say it but I actually had to cut the conversation short with him and stop looking him in the eye because I knew if it continued I would lose it.  The things he said were simple things like complimenting me on my Halloween costume, telling me he hoped I had a great night.. etc.  But there was so much beautiful energy exuding from him that it was overwhelming.  It got me thinking about a couple of things.  First, how hard it is sometimes to not question God about his methods and the reasons why things are the way they are.  I'm intelligent enough to know that he has a reason for everything but not enlightened enough to understand them.  I'm also human enough not to be able to accept them.  How can someone who deserved nothing but beautiful things in life be standing in front of me with the hand this guy was dealt?  When I was a kid I saw Paula Abdul on the Arseno Hall Show and he was asking her about her success and what she attributes it to- or something along those lines.  Her answer was that bad things don't happen to good people.  This was right after my mom passed away so, as you can imagine, I wanted to climb through the t.v. and punch her in the mouth.  I still do.  I always say bad things happen to good people because only good people would use those experiences to help others.  I partly believe that.  The other thing I thought about was how ironic it is that people who have such tragic lives have such amazing souls.  When I say tragic life I mean dealing with starvation, dehydration, disease, severe mental illness, slavery, etc.  How can someone who has absolutely nothing in life have such positive attitudes, big hearts and genuineness while those who have everything they've ever needed seem to be ungrateful, selfish and jaded. I guess I'll never know and I'm ok with that as long as I get to keep coming across people in my life like the man I met today.  It's never really crossed my mind to volunteer with the handicapped but now it's definitely on my list.

**Sometimes when I look back on stuff like this I wonder what in the world is wrong with me!?! Ha!  Over emotional is putting it politely.  It's a blessing and a curse because on one hand I realize that it is not natural to feel that much instant sadness from something that happened to someone I don't even know. But on the other hand I appreciate it because I know how much fuel that is for me to try to right the wrongs.  Basically I just want you all to know that I do realize I'm crazy and over the top but I'm ok with that. ;)